Divorce Coaching and 10 Things You Should Do Before Divorce

Elise Shepherd
3 min readJun 29, 2021
A drawing figurine is draped over a pile of rocks and also has a rock on it’s back.

What is divorce coaching?

This is clearly the first thing you need to know in order to decide whether divorce coaching is right for you. Divorce coaching is a flexible and goal-oriented process designed to help you get organized and get through the divorce process. Divorce coaching is a great way to receive support from someone outside of your friends and family. Somebody with no biases or prior knowledge. Just someone who wants to help you.

But what happens in divorce coaching?

Just like other coaching services, with divorce coaching you meet with your divorce coach on a regular basis for as long as you need him or her. Perhaps you just need one session to get organized or learn more about how to best approach your divorce. Maybe you need more sessions to help you change your divorce story and adapt to your new situation. Every person is different and every person wants or needs different things from a divorce coach.

As promised, here are ten things you should do if you are even considering divorce:

1. Consult an Attorney

Knowledge is the first step. Consult with an attorney to learn about the legal process and what your best moves are. For example, maybe moving out of the family home is not a good idea. An attorney will tell you.

2. Make Copies

Go through your house and make copies of all important documents- tax documents, bank statements, wills, automobile titles, etc. If your spouse is self-employed, gather any information possible as to the finances of the business. Make copies of any financial data stored in your computer.

3. Inventory all of your possessions and household items

This is very important. You’ll want to inventory everything- jewelry, artwork, household items, etc.

4. Know the household budget and expenses

Go through your checkbook or credit card statements and figure out how much you spend each month on everything, from utilities to groceries.

5. Determine debt

This is often a very contentious part of divorces. So if you can figure this out ahead of time, you’re doing great! Figure out who will take on which debt. If there are any debts from before marriage, you don’t have to worry about those because those belong to the spouse that incurred it.

6. Find out what your spouse earns

Find a pay stub or whatever and determine what your spouse earns.

7. Appraise your earning potential

If you’ve been out of the workforce raising children and would benefit from further education prior to divorce, this is important to know.

8. Examine your credit history

Find out your credit history and if your credit score isn’t good, try to increase it prior to divorce.

9. Build a savings of your own

This is very important. Especially if your spouse was the primary breadwinner. Make your own “nest egg” so you’ll be prepared if your spouse moves out or anything pops up that is unexpected.

10. Put your children first

This is important too. Make sure your kids are your #1 priority during this whole process.

And remember, divorce coaches can be valuable prior to a divorce as well! Maybe you’ll even realize that you don’t want to get divorced. Whatever the case may be, a divorce coach may be right for you.

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